Can't Catch a Break
by Enomys
Summary: The Cabbage Man returns! Everyone's favorite merchant is now trying his luck in new places, but even though the show is over, will he sell any cabbages? Oneshot.


Katara looked up, her face awash with tears. "You're sure?" she asked.

"Positive," affirmed Sokka. "The creators would never allow that to happen."

"Yep," said Aang cheerfully. "They would never let Enomys own Avatar: the Last Airbender."

"Oh," said Katara, beginning to smile, her face still glimmering with tears. "Now I feel silly, crying like that."

"Don't be," I declared bitterly. "Avatar: the Last Airbender is among one of the many things that I don't own."

* * *

**Can't Catch a Break**

The cabbage man wiped his forehead with his shirtsleeve. It was hot here in the Fire Nation, but this was the one place that he hadn't yet tried to sell his wares. So far, he had sold only two cabbages. These Fire Nation citizens just didn't appreciate the beauty of the green-purple leaves. They were lovingly raised at his home in the Earth Kingdom, on some of the richest soil imaginable. Only the best for his prize cabbages! He stroked one's silky outer leaves.

"Someone will come. Someone will want to purchase these delicious, crunchy vegetables. Just you wait," he told himself. And so he set up the awning over his cart, set down his stool on the cobblestones, and waited. People came and went, with only a few glancing at the cart, and none stopping to even look at the cabbages. Hours past, and soon it was midday. The cabbage man stooped down at the back of his cart to bring out the bucket of ice he had put in there earlier in the day. With the heat, the ice had melted, and now the water was warm, not even cold as the cabbage man had planned. Heaving a sigh, he poured the water into a watering can. This warm water would just have to work, he thought. He couldn't risk his cabbages being wilted. Then they would never sell. As he sprinkled the contents of the worn wooden cart with the water, he heaved another sigh. This place was the worst he had been to, even after Ba Sing Se, where his cart had been ransacked by a rabbaroo. It was worse even then Omashu, where all his carefully tended wares had been dumped over the side of a cliff! He collapsed back into his chair, depressed. This was his dream job, sharing his passion with the world. But the world didn't seem to care.

A sharp, mocking voice pulled him from his pity party.

"Who's that loser? Selling cabbages," they scoffed. "Everyone knows that we Fire Nation citizens don't waste our time with that sort of food. We eat meat here!"

The cabbage man eyed the man and his cronies sadly as they high-fived, laughed, and walked away.

"Don't listen to them," said a new voice kindly.

The cabbage man jumped and spun and found himself face to face with a curious-looking young boy. He wore strange pants that looked like breeches, and the colors he wore, too, were strange: yellow and a muted orange-red. Even stranger yet was that he had no hair: instead, the boy had a huge blue arrow tattooed on his head. But as strange as the boy was, the cabbage man couldn't help but feel that he had seen this boy somewhere before.

"I personally think that your cabbages look great." The boy smiled kindly at the man.

The cabbage man blinked a few times, still unable to say a word.

"In fact, I think I'll take five cabbages," said the boy, still kind, now reaching into a leather pouch at his waist.

"Do…do I know you?" the cabbage man stuttered.

The boy gave him a confused glance. "I don't think so," he said slowly.

"Yes I do!" exclaimed the cabbage man. "You knocked over my cart on the wharf in that fishing town!"

"Ummm…did I?" said the Avatar meekly.

"Yes you did!" shouted the cabbage man, working himself up into a rage. "You knocked it over several times!" he ranted.

"Uh, yeah, about that…" said the Avatar as he backed away slowly.

"You owe me!" declared the cabbage man.

"Fine!" exclaimed Aang, hurrying forward to offer what seemed to be half the contents of his coin purse. "I'll pay!"

And with that, he dumped the coins into the cabbage man's unoccupied chair. "There! Is that enough?"

The cabbage man looked at the sizeable pile of glittering coins that now sat in his chair. He hesitated in mid rant, and then composed himself.

"Yes…I guess this is sufficient payment…"

"Good," the Avatar said wearily.

"Would you still like those cabbages?" inquired the cabbage man, his tone now friendly.

"IT'S THE AVATAR!" shrieked a voice suddenly.

Aang grew pale. "Oh no!"

The source of Aang's distress was soon visible. A horde of girls were to be seen stampeding down the street, heading toward Aang.

"Gotta go!" squeaked Aang, who then fled the scene.

The cabbage man just stood there, dismayed by the sight before him. As the group came closer, he snapped out of his reverie and made sudden attempts at moving the ponderous cart, but it was too late. The girls were impatient to catch up with their quarry, and in their haste overturned the cart and spilled the precious cargo, even stepping on some of them.

The cabbage man stared in shock at the cart and the piles of destroyed and damaged vegetables. He fell to his knees in shock and put his head into his hands. Suddenly realizing the irony, he felt the urge to smile; instead, he threw his head back and opened his mouth in a scream fit to wake the dead:

"MY CABBAGES!"

* * *

This is a bit funnier than I usually write. (Maybe?) I wanted to try something different, use a character that most don't ever talk about. So here it is! Don't forget to RRR (read, relax, and review).


End file.
